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Crazy Rick Santorum Quotes‧
Best Jokes About the 2012 GOP Candidates‧
Best Cartoons on the GOP Candidates‧
Funny Pics of the 2012 GOP Candidates‧
Dumbest Quotes by the 2012 GOP Candidates"Rick Santorum doesn’t like sex. He doesn’t like the pill. He really doesn’t like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest." -Bill Maher
"Rick Santorum looks like a guy running for student council.” –David Letterman
"Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are both against gay marriage. Really, against gay marriage? I tell you, the problem with this is they’d make such a cute couple.” –David letterman
"They're saying now it looks like the state of Michigan is swinging toward Rick Santorum. And I think if there's a word that best describes Rick, it's 'swinging.'" -David Letterman
"I was talking to a friend about Santorum. He said, 'For all my years in the State Department, I know one thing. Terrorists, what they fear most is a guy in a sweater vest.'" -David Letterman
“We have a new frontrunner for the Republicans, Rick Santorum...the little creep that could.” –Bill Maher
“Rick Santorum beat Mitt Romney in three states and got a huge amount of fundraising. That’s the good news for rick Santorum. The bad news: people are now Googling Santorum.” –Bill Maher
“Santorum made a speech and said, ‘If we follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are heading down the road to the guillotine.’ The guillotine, really? This is why he’s ahead. In one sentence, he hit on all the things they love at the Republican convention: logical fallacies, Obama paranoia, and f*ck the French.” –Bill Maher
“Rick Santorum is against birth control, he’s against ordaining women as priests, he thinks two women kissing is immoral. See, this is the difference between me and Rick Santorum; neither one of us got a lot of dates in high school, but I just didn’t spend the rest of my life taking it out on women.” –Bill Maher
“Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don’t need birth control, you are birth control.” –Bill Maher
“Rick Santorum's approval rating is 33 percent. His sweater vest comes in at 17 percent.” Jimmy Kimmel
"Rick Santorum picked up an endorsement from the lead singer of the heavy-metal band Megadeth. Santorum is the only candidate who is both pro-life and pro-Megadeth." –Conan O'Brien
“Rick Santorum is hoping his three wins in the Republican primaries on Tuesday will postiion him as the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney. And I think that's reflected in his new campaign slogan: the other white meat.” –Seth Meyers
“Rick Santorum said he was concerned about the Pentagon's new policy allowing women closer to front-line combat, noting that men would have emotions seeing a woman in harm's way, which I have to say is a compelling case against having men in the military.” –Seth Meyers
“After the big win Tuesday night, they asked Rick Santorum if he thought his campaign was evolving, but, you know, he doesn't believe in evolution.” –Jay Leno
"Rick Santorum was the big winner. He is feeling very cocky. He already is being fitted for an inaugural sweater vest." –David Letterman
"Since yesterday's primaries, Rick Santorum's campaign has received $250,000 in donations. When Mitt Romney heard this, he said '$250,000? Oh, that's cute.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Part of me thinks that Rick Santorum is running for president just to show his high school crush she should have gone to the prom with him." –Jimmy Kimmel
"He even called global warming a hoax, which is no surprise, coming from a guy who is clearly in the pocket of big sweater vests." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Rick Santorum (is taking) fire from the left. He may want to get a Kevlar sweater vest." –Stephen Colbert
"Rick Santorum told an audience in South Carolina Mitt Romney was just a 'paler shade of what we have in the White House now.' And the guy in the back of the room stood up and said, 'I thought that was the whole point." –Bill Maher
"Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is under fire for a remark he made in Iowa about black people. The remark has sparked outrage among Iowa's black community, otherwise known as Steve." –Conan O'Brien
"This is the 14th Republican debate and there are still 12 more to go. The plan, I think, is to keep debating until somebody recognizes Rick Santorum on the street." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Homophobic Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum is at it again - on Fox News he attacked gay men and said that letting them shower with straight people in the military would cause problems. If that's true, that means the straight men were not that straight to begin with. Probably not that straight." –Jay Leno
"Ultraconservative Rick Santorum said he is the son of an Italian immigrant. Immediately after the comment, Santorum had his dad deported." –Conan O'Brien
"Rick Santorum said women might not be suited for military action because their emotions aren't suited for combat. Which can mean only one thing: He’s never seen an episode of 'The View.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Republican Rick Santorum got rid of his campaign slogan after he found it was similar to one coined by a gay man. No word yet on why he chose, 'Rick Santorum for President. I Love Penises.'" –Conan O'Brien
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With his decision to pull out of the 2012 presidential campaign, Rick Santorum has dealt comedians yet another devastating blow. After losing Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, and Herman Cain, the prospect of facing seven more months of presidential politicking without a frothy mix of Santorum jokes is almost too much to bear.
